The power of regret by Daniel H. Pink. Despite not being a psychologist or a behavioral researcher, the author of this book, D.H. Pink, possesses formidable credentials. Having graduated from Yale Law School and served as an advisor to the U.S. Vice President, his background is undoubtedly impressive.
Regret, an intricate emotion, relies on the unique human capacity to mentally travel back in time and engage in storytelling. For instance, when reflecting on a career mistake made years ago, the process of regret unfolds as follows: initially, I mentally revisit the moment of the mistake and envision an alternative decision; then, I reconstruct the potential impact of this new choice up to the present moment and compare it to my actual life. Upon realizing that my imaginary timeline appears more favorable than my real life, a sense of misery and discomfort sets in. This is the essence of regret – a consequence of personal decisions, distinct from emotions like disappointment, which arise from others’ choices. However, it is important to recognize the positive aspect of regret, as it can fortify us by shaping our future decisions towards achieving better outcomes.
The Distinction Between ‘If-I-Just’ and ‘At-Least’ Individuals
An excellent way to illustrate the contrast between these two types of people is by looking at Olympic medalists. Silver medalists are often categorized as ‘if-I-just,’ while bronze medalists fall into the ‘at-least’ category. The silver medalists tend to harbor feelings of regret, believing that a tiny alteration in their performance could have secured them the elusive gold medal. On the other hand, the bronze medalists feel grateful that they were able to clinch a medal at all.
What’s intriguing is that in sports and various aspects of life, the difference between gold and silver is often quite minimal. It’s the fine line that separates those who barely made it from those who narrowly missed their target. Surprisingly, those who came incredibly close to achieving gold or another challenging goal are more inclined to push themselves harder and surpass their peers in the future. Regret is a potent motivation for them.